For many generations the world has been following certain gender tendencies. There are opinions about how boys should play with guns, trucks, play sports, etc.; while the girls should be interested in dolls, Barbies, or making pretend foods. As the child is growing, they observe a lot of things that form their opinion. So, do a kid’s interests affect what their “normal” self is going to look like when the grow up?
This week was focused on the behavioral tendencies of men and women. Different studies and opinions have determined what is common for each gender. Starting with females, they are focused on caregiving and nurturing. There were several experiments that would show that women are detail oriented and notice the little things in their surroundings. One of them included having them sit in a small room full of different objects; it resulted in them not only knowing what but also where a lot of things were. That leads to the next characteristic of girls being relationship oriented. When it comes to both living and non-living things, they try to find relationship between different entities. In addition, females are often people oriented and do better at verbal communication. They are capable to express their emotions a lot faster than males.
In like manner, men have their own list of tendencies. Many of them seek independence, not in a sense of being alone but getting things done without much help. Again, professionals evaluated different behaviors and through experiments – proved that point. One example was about finding directions. Data shows that men are better at reading maps and when they have trouble – they usually don’t seek help but try to solve the problem themselves. That adds to the habit of being competitive. When it comes to younger generations, boys tend to follow the footsteps of “rough and tumble” where wrestling is a priority.
What determines the “normal” for each gender on the Earth? There are many theories. First is evolution through hundreds of years of human development. Looking back to our ancestors, it was known that women took care of their home and children and men were in charge of providing, protecting, and presiding. Another explanation is given by religious beliefs. As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints we know of the Proclamation to the World: The Family where it states the roles of a man and a woman. Such spiritual things give many the direction they should take in terms of responsibilities. Third is social construct. The society of any nation tends to set up the standards for boys and girls and if anyone has a different opinion – it is not “normal” anymore.
Years ago, I liked a lot of girly things but grew up with many boy cousins. There weren’t necessarily rules for what’s appropriate to play with or not. My cousin, Alexander, lived across the street from my house and we spent many hours playing together every day. We took turns. There were days where we would drag pieces of metal place to place, doing various experiments; we played with Lego, guns, and cars. However, there also days filled with playing “family” where we played with dolls and cooked fake food together. That was a compromised normal for me.
Interestingly, when girls play with “boy things” or when women have certain male tendencies – they are simply called tom boys and it is quite acceptable. However, if men/boys do the same with “girl things,” it is something strange and has to be stopped. I really enjoyed what my professor has shared by the end of the discussion. When we had the two lists shown on the board, he asked, “Girls, wouldn’t you want your husband to be caregiving and nurturing? Wouldn’t you want your husband to communicate with you? Wouldn’t it be nice to have someone who pays attention to detail?” I can definitely agree with that thought because we do want to see those attributes on our spouses.
In conclusion, I think that following the guidance of God and Church leaders is important. Both genders have roles and responsibilities. However, it doesn’t mean that one gender cannot experience what the other gender does. It is good for a woman to both work and take care of children. It is good for a man to provide but also help his spouse at home. It good for a wife to be both nurturing and protective; similarly for a husband to be both competitive and communicative with others. Let us be acceptive, respectful, and appreciate each other’s strengths, talents, and tendencies. I encourage each of us to help each other, don’t create biases, and be open minded that there isn’t just black and white – there can be adjustments made.
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