Becoming a father is a difficult task. I will never have the privilege to become one, but it is obvious how much it takes to be a successful dad. In fact, every father has their own definition of success. Although there can be individual values, there are general ideas on what makes a good dad. Jeremy Adam Smith shared his thoughts in an article about fatherhood.
Dads should find their purpose of fatherhood
To make fatherhood a more special and meaningful experience, a man should find out for himself what his purpose is in that calling. It can be teaching them various skills such as sports, how to work hard, becoming a responsible adult, etc. Another mission might include trying to become better than their own dads. Everybody’s experience can be different as a child. Some have wonderful memories of their parents and others would prefer to forget and move on. When such situations happen, a father’s purpose becomes to not repeat the childhood that they had. Moreover, another idea is to focus on self-improvement for the child/children. They will serve as an example.
Importance of protecting the children
Another valuable responsibility as a father is to protect his children. The Family Proclamation given in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints says, “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to prove the necessities of life and protection for their families.” Although spouses can share responsibilities, the father usually takes care of the role as a protector. I think it is very comforting for the children to know that there is someone capable of protecting them physically and spiritually.
Being intentional with the child
Being intentional simply means sincerely caring for what the kid has to say. I remember from young age my dad rarely raised his voice at me. However, unfortunate situations still happened, and the solution was to talk. We would sit together at the table and share our thoughts and feelings about the current events and what solutions might work. Don’t get me wrong, “just talking” is still not easy but my dad did his best to be intentional as he helped me at various times. It taught be good communication skills which goes back to the importance of being an example.
Learning from the spouse and children
Something that Sir Smith has mentioned is willingness to learn from your spouse and children. I thought it was interesting how a father can benefit and improve by taking an example of his family members. It takes humility and courage to admit that there is room for improvement but there is always something to learn. Having the right attitude is the key for success.
Finding Resources
Some that are about to become a dad might say, “Where do I learn how to be a good dad?” First, there is a huge amount of literature to read. Books written but educated and experienced writers can give a good idea on how to improve. In addition, there are various movies and TV shows that can uplift beginner dads. Second, it is always helpful to ask family and friends for advice. Of course all children and families are different, but there can be general tips given for a good start. Smith also suggested to find a balance between both the father’s and the child’s interests. For example, if the dad likes to play golf and the kid enjoys playing soccer, it would be healthy to consider both interests to develop a sense of love, care, and selflessness.
As a conclusion, fatherhood is both a challenge and a blessing. The biggest word of advice is to not compare but constantly seek improvement.
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