Every individual is different: young and old, parent and child, etc. Each has their own preferences, dreams, priorities, and goals. Many get skeptical when someone tries to give them parenting advice, thinking, “You don’t know my child and cannot give me advice” or “Why would you give me an advice if I have more experience than you do?” Although any mom or dad knows their kids best, there are general principles that can be used for peaceful outcomes of the situation.
Before diving into details, keep in mind one thing – The goal of parenthood is to protect our children and prepare them for the “real” world. That means teaching them practical skills such as receiving education, driving, working, being a good disciple of Christ, etc. At the same time, it is important to remember that children are not just students or some sort of employees, there are someone that needs to be constantly protected: physically, spiritually, and emotionally. Of course, it is impossible to protect them from any negative thing or challenge but putting in full amount of effort matters!
Kids have certain needs, and they can either be handled appropriately or misinterpreted. For example, a need of contact and belonging. From day one, a baby develops so much better if they interact with their parent or guardian. A mistaken approach may include thoughts like it is undue attention seeking when it reality if a child is offered contact freely, there would be less seeking of attention. After hearing that statement, some may say, “Wouldn’t it just spoil my kids to constantly give them my attention?” In addition to offering contact freely, it is important to teach kids to contribute. Let them help you with a chore, cleaning up toys, etc. That will show the little ones that they are important and that they belong; they make a difference.
Another important factor to consider is a need for power. This topic can be very misunderstood. Many of the parents’ thoughts go to disrespect and possibly pride because kids have power. There might also be a greater chance of rebellion and wanting to be in control. In this case, it is very important to explain that every choice will always have either a positive or a negative consequence. They still have the power to make a decision, but this is what is going to lead to. It applies to any age. Even the little ones will have an opportunity to learn that from early on. As an example, on a warm spring day, a little boy or a girl decided to wear a sweater for the day without realize that they will get too warm. You explained that if they do that, they will be very uncomfortable, but they decided not to listen and keep the sweater on. Later in the day, they are at pre-school, playing outside. The lesson is going to include them waiting patiently until they can change at home. They will never learn the lesson if you secretly pack a t-shirt in your bag.
This is only a few examples, but my hope is to give an idea about misinterpretations vs. a proper parental approach. It does take a lot of effort, but it’s important to do our best at communicating with our kids and try to understand and teach them before jumping into conclusions. Again, every person, child specifically, is different – but each always wanted to be heard. Let us teach them how to listen. 😊
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