When a couple gets engaged, there is a switch. They are preparing to enter their new chapter – marriage. During that period, life gets busy with wedding preparations and many decisions are made. Picking wedding colors, inviting all to the celebration, figuring out who is going to pay for it may become a challenge. But is it the most important worry before two people join their lives into one?
Before diving into the topic of preparing for marriage, when planning the wedding, it makes a huge difference when it is the couple that plans it. Many instances show that it is usually the bride making plans either with her mom or best friends. However, this is the first big project that couple is going to work on. They will listen to each other’s preferences, opinions, etc. In addition, the finances become a big deal for the bride and groom. It’s important to set boundaries on who is going to pay for what because if they pay for nothing – they have a sense of obligation towards the other person in charge. Of course, communication is key on the various expectations. In fact, despite the harsh sound of it, a wedding is not a girl’s dream brought into reality. It is supposed to be a day for him and her.
In both marriage and wedding planning – communication is one of the most important factors to happy and successful relationship. Engaged people should find opportunities to continue getting to know their partner. Although talking during the dating stage is important, not all topics get covered and much more can be talked about.
As a couple, they need to set up boundaries. Talk about what’s appropriate to share with others or not. It is also appropriate to discuss whether it is okay or not to keep in touch with their previous partners. The topic of financing is not small either. Before marriage, people live their independent lives and take care of their own needs; but when wedded, they are uniting their lives, responsibilities, and material things. If it is difficult to bring up “deeper” conversations, there are resources that will help ask the right questions.
As an example, when my husband and I got engaged – in order to get our marriage certificate, we had to go through a premarital course called “Together in Texas.” It is an online course that helped us connect and get to know each other. There were different concepts: we shared what our love languages are, how to respond to conflict, talked about what we like along with our pet peeves. I was grateful to have that experience with my loved one because some of the questions were very engaging and informative. Most of all I was grateful that we had an opportunity to discuss the best way to communicate with each other. We were able to have a conversation about each other’s thought processes in various situations. Therefore, helpful resources like that are great helpers when preparing for marriage.
Overall, the future husband and wife should come to a realization that wedding is a memorable day, but it is going to last for a limited amount of time. Marriage goes on forever and we want to make sure we do our best to continually strengthen our marriage through the years. It is important to remember that there isn’t one solution to a problem for every couple. For that reason, get to know your partner as much as you can. Communicate. Prioritize. Listen. Even the fact that you are willing to give up your time to listen to your spouse, will strengthen the marriage in a big way.
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